This was seriously funny, I laughed out loud through the whole thing!
The things a human father will do for his breakfastless children...
With mum away attending a conference and dad in charge, things start going amiss as soon as breakfast starts...
...or doesn't start, for there is no milk.
Solicitously, dad offers to go down to the corner shop and buy some milk (not the fat free kind!) - but he's taking ever so long! Surely he found a friend, they started talking, and lost track of time.
Wrong! For dad has had the most perilous adventure, bravely defying aliens who dare try and redecorate our planet, a pirate queen, piranhas (not in this exact sequence), a friendly Stegosaurus professor, the dreaded and dreadful wumpires (who are most certainly not nice, handsome, nor misunderstood), wondrous ponies, a volcano with a lot of time to think about transtemporal meta-science and the intergalactic police!
All so his children wouldn't go breakfastless.
Neil Gaiman's official site
Scottie Young's official site
Buy Fortunately, the Milk
@ The Book Depository (with free worldwide delivery!)